Shindemo Ii Now I can Die
by Cosplayer At Work
Summary: kanjou ga sakebidasu... nasakenai kodoku da to... Can't help this feeling , this need to scream... But Ill hold it back until the last day...


**Shindemo Ii… ( Now , I Can Die )**

I always wondered why there are these pathetic people who gets depressed once it rains heavily . I really don't get the point in dwelling in the past and sulking over it . I mean , it already happened , we cannot do anything about it anymore . Then I ask myself , "Why does the rain always come when something tragic happens ?" . There's only one answer.. That each raindrop is a tear coming from the heavens .

"I'm sorry…"

The water droplets started falling one by one , stinging my face like sharp needles being fallen upon me . Yes , a needle shower… with each metallic object piercing my skin at utmost persistence , repeating the process over and over , it seemed that it was never-ending . I just wished it would stop… to completely stop .

"I have no intention of killing you…"

I lifted an arm towards my forehead , pressing unto it slightly to refrain the pouring rain from pricking my eyes . I didn't want the opponent to get the chance to attack me , to see me off-guard . Believe me , the last thing I want is to look vulnerable to the enemy . To be totally honest , I'm not strong physical-wise . I wasn't for hand-to-hand combat . I focus more on telekinetic powers , controlling the elements with just a raise of a finger . Unfair to you ? Not my problem .

"I don't want you to die…"

Then tears started to fall again . No , I'm not talking about the rain anymore . It was real tears this time , tears of someone I know very well . How radiant they looked as the moonlight shown on them , embracing each drop ever so lovingly… protectively , not wanting to let go of the sadness each teardrop holds , keeping the anguish inside… torturing .

The sound of faint footsteps can be heard . It became louder , with echoing splashing sounds as the distance between us lessen . After a few more steps it finally stops , a figure appears with tears now slowly falling down his soft cheeks , to his chin , to the moistened soil below .

The pain , slowly invades my already wounded soul.. almost unbearable like lemon juice being squeezed out from the fruit , dripping to the open cut… making me flintch because of the pain it causes . My own set of tears started to form in my eyes as I saw the site in front of me…

I heard a whimper escape the other's lips as he shivered in the cold . There stood a frail boy , completely soak in the rain as his weak knees were the only thing that were making him able to stand . He looked at me with those lonely azure eyes you couldn't just take your eyes off them… They were gleaming in the moonlight as his tears gave them a hint of regret , sorrow , as if he wasn't able to go in with his life . He wanted to die… now .

I watched him move my arm away from my face , I didn't care if his hands were cold… Who could blame him ? We're out here in the cold , in the pouring rain . Why the hell do I care anyway ? His mere presence soothes my soul , my spirit . He soothes… me .

"Close your eyes…"

I felt a frail hand caress my face , slender fingers slowly gliding up and down my cheek . It felt like I am being comforted . He was responding to my silent screams… For once , I feel calm… free . Is this how a bird feels when it is soaring in the endless skies ? What an indescribable feeling… I don't know how to put it into words.. I don't want to think anymore… I'm ruining the mood…

I felt a teardrop roll down my own cheeks but it was stopped by a fluid motion of the other's thumb pressed slightly unto my cheekbone , trying to stop any other tears from falling…

"Don't cry , I'm here with you…"

"Look who's talking…" I replied , how blunt it sounded . The tone of my voice , it didn't have any emotion into it , not even a hint . I felt him flintch but his fingered never left my features . No , it felt like he wanted me to take back what I said earlier . Wait , I… I think I broke his heart…

"I should be the one… saying that to you…"

"E-eh…?"

"I really mean it…" And I really did . I opened my eyes only to see the most beautiful pair of eyes in the world.. no , the universe… looking deeply into mine , searching , trying to understand my thoughts… feelings. He wanted to know… me .

"I…"

"Yes…?"

He then pressed his tender lips against mine . A soft , gentle kiss was being shared by the both of us . It wasn't any of those lustful ones . It made me feel warmth that emitted a blissful feeling in me , it massaged my strain heart… Is this what you call… love ? At last , for once , I fell that I am… loved by someone…

He pulled away and I started to feel numb all throughout my entire body . I couldn't feel the warmth from his hand anymore… Oh please God no… Not yet , please…

He looked at me , his eyes flashing confusion and terror as he moved closer to my limp body . His hand withdrawing from my face only to land on my chest . I wonder , "What is he up to…?"

My heartbeat gradually became slower as my breathing became uneven . I couldn't move much anymore . I was just there lying on the ground , almost lifeless .

He laid his head over my chest and tried to check my heartbeat . His eyes widened in fear as he examined me all over . I can see that he didn't want me to go , he didn't want me to leave his side… he wanted me to live .

"Please don't go , I beg…"

His voice started to fade as time quickly passes by . He continued screaming , panicking as a few of his tears dripped to my face… no , I didn't mind them . I just looked at him , pretending that I am able to understand what he was saying . Exhausted , he sobbed against my chest , his hands clentched into fists…

I tried , with all my remaining strength to be able to comfort him in any way I can but by the time I was able to place my hand on his head , my vision started to become blurry , slowly darkening .

"Bombay… No , Omi… I won't last long… my vision , It's nearly gone…"

He pales , and I don't even know what I was saying . All I know is that I'm pouring my heart out . I must tell him everything here and now… this my only and last chance to do so…

"The first time I looked up your profile , I've always kept you image in me…" I watch as he lifted his head to face me, "At least he's listening and I am making sense…" I said to myself , an inside joke .

"And all those battles we fought , it hurt me more than anything else , I don't want to see you hurt… You were not meant for this kind of work…" he leaned in closer , touching his cheek against mine .

" I , too , didn't want to kill you… It was my job to do so but now ? I'm happy that you are here with me in my last moments here on this forsaken earth…" he shot up , terrified eyes locked unto mine as my vision slowly turns black .

"Omi , I love you…" I smiled as I slowly close my eyes , I couldn't keep them open any longer… but the movement of his lips kept me happy until the end…

"Nagi !"

Too bad… I couldn't hear those three words coming from him… but even so , I'm glad I was able to tell him how I felt deep inside of me… How I kept it for so long , this dreadful secret…

Now , I can die… Goodbye , Omi .


End file.
